Tag: mindfulness workshop

Forgiveness Mindfulness emotions • guilt • Healing • hope • mindfulness • mindfulness meditation • mindfulness practice • mindfulness training • mindfulness workshop • neuropathways • punishment • shame December 2, 2015 By Christina de Valencia 0 Comments

The Silent Punisher

This is the third in a series of newsletters looking at how our feelings affect our lives and bodies. It is powerful knowledge that can help eliminate pain in all areas of your life. If you are struggling with something, send me an email or call.

The Silent Punisher

We’ve been talking about the effects of feelings and emotions on our health. An emotion is a message from your brain, sent to your body as a sensation. It starts as a thought. Whenever emotions are denied, belittled or dismissed, they end up running the show. We’ve been focusing on how they affect our bodies.

Guilt and shame are natural, healthy emotions. Imagine, if we didn’t feel guilty over hurtful or destructive things we’ve done. Or if we didn’t feel shame when we are caught sneaking something that isn’t ours. Our lives, our world would be on destructive autopilot.

Shame says: I am bad

Guilt says: I did something bad

Everything has to be in moderation, everything has to have balance. Ideally, we feel the emotion, make amends and move on. However, sometimes the scales tip a little too far on the shame and guilt side and the cells in out bodies take it on. This occurs when we feel guilty over things that happened years ago. When we hold on and let them define us, when we don’t release those punishing feelings.

We all have things that haunt us for years, often a lifetime.

“Shame is the intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging.” Brene’ Brown PhD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEBjNv5M784

A client of mine recalls how he was caught playing with matches as a young boy. He was maybe 5 or 6, a normal curious little boy. When his mom caught him, she was naturally upset, screamed at him and lectured him. Then, with magic marker she wrote on his t-shirt FIREBUG and had him stand outside in public. To this day, the memory of the shame causes him to shrink, feel guilty and defensive. Over the years this has added to the numerous other things he feels ashamed of and has caused his body to stiffen in defense of possible attacks. When walking around he also balls his hands into fists.

Another married client ended up in the hospital with a severe cut on his hand and near fatal blood-poisoning. He is an excellent carpenter, always cautious and meticulous. However, he had been carrying on an affair over an extended period of time and the guilt was eating him up. When he was repairing a piece of furniture in his home, he nearly cut his thumb off. His subconscious helped him punish himself.

Survivors of childhood abuse often blame themselves for what has happened, many have been feeling guilty and punishing themselves their whole lives for the mistakes of the adults that they trusted.

Shame and guilt cause a constriction in our bodies. Like the ripple a pebble causes when thrown in a lake, so do consistent shameful and guilty thoughts affect our bodies and finally our health.

These habitual thoughts, over time, are emotions. They create a neuro-pathway in our nervous system and affect everything from new thoughts, to self-esteem to physical well-being.

These emotions thrive in silence, secrecy and judgment.

This happens whether you think about it or not.

We reap what we sow. Literally, and in many more ways than we typically think.

It’s the law of cause and effect. It operates in all areas of our lives.

If you’ve been reading the previous articles on how our feelings affect our lives, then you already know what you have to do if you want to heal yourself from excessive guilt and shame.

“Health is inner peace.” Course in Miracles. There can be no peace when we allow shame and guilt to run the show.

“Every thought you have makes up some segment of the world you see. It is with your thoughts then, that we must work, if your perception of the world is to be changed.” Course in Miracles.

Here is what I say: Love yourself enough, pretend if you have to. You are a child of God. In your meditation be willing to let those old self-punishing thoughts go. Lovingly! Always with love. Never in anger or hatred!

Shine a light on it. It cannot continue to thrive when you acknowledge it.

There is nothing you did that cannot be forgiven.

If you can’t sit still long enough, do something that causes some stillness in you. Go for a walk in nature, run, dance….anything that works for you. In that inner space of silence, go to your bags of stored up guilt and shame, open them up, let the light shine in and be willing to accept the love God has for you. Be kind to yourself.

Willingness is powerful! Doors open, miracles happen when you are willing.

If you are struggling with understanding something in your life or need help, send me an email or call. You don’t have to go it alone.

christina@christinadevalencia.com

804-306-7287

Acceptance Forgiveness Mindfulness acceptance • Counseling • forgiveness • mindfulness • mindfulness meditation • mindfulness practice • mindfulness training • mindfulness workshop • northcountycounseling • resentment • self-forgiveness • self-punishment November 8, 2015 By Christina de Valencia 0 Comments

Healing Happens When You Forgive.

This is the second in a series of articles looking at how our feelings affect our lives and bodies. It is powerful knowledge that can help eliminate pain in all areas of your life. If you are struggling with something, send me an email or call.

Healing happens when you forgive

This is a more in depth look at a component of forgiveness, that we often don’t acknowledge.

Forgiveness is essential in every major religion on our planet.

The final words uttered by Christ during his suffering reinforce the importance of forgiveness: “”Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34).

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else but you are the one who gets burned” — The Buddha

“Who takes vengeance or bears a grudge acts like one who, having cut one hand while handling a knife, avenges himself by stabbing the other hand.” — Jerusalem Talmud, Nedarim 9.4

What is forgiveness:

“Forgiveness is the act of consciously deciding to let go of resentment or vengeance toward another entity who has harmed you in some way (whether or not they’re actually deserving of that forgiveness)”, according to the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley.

Forgiveness is NOT forgetting or condoning a behavior. It is simply a desire on your part to let go of the burden of carrying the anger, rage and vengeful thoughts…..and giving them to a higher power.

It sounds like a paradox. Forgive, not forget? How do you do that?

I think letting go (forgiving) happens more easily, the more tired you are of carrying the heaviness of those negative feelings. It can be the hardest thing you ever have to do, but conversely, it is also one of the most freeing and miraculous things that can ever happen to you.

The moment you become willing, a space opens up for miracles to occur. Relationships are healed, physical healing occurs and suddenly personal peace and joy is in your life.

I spent years working on forgiving my father. I wanted a loving relationship with him. What we had was too painful for me. I wanted to be able to tell him how I experienced my childhood, but he was not open to that. So I had to do the work by myself.

Today, the memories of my childhood in his house are still there, but the pain, the emotional charge, the hurt and suffering, are gone.

Forgiving a parent is difficult. Our whole outlook on life was developed because of what and how we experienced life with them. I remember the violence I experienced when I look at my father’s hands, but today I just feel love and want to hold them. With the grace of God, I see beyond my father’s unloving behavior, understand the origin of it and see the love behind it.

How I forgave:

There are many different ways you can tackle forgiveness toward others.

Letter writing is one way: You put all your grievances on paper and then burn that letter, or bury it.

There are many forgiveness meditations that walk you through the layers.

Sometimes you have the opportunity to discuss our pain with the offending person.

When I started, I had no idea how to go about it.

Somehow, I prayed my way through it, asking for guidance to find a way to let go, I stepped outside of my wounded self and learned to view my dad as the child he once was. Looking at his childhood, his parents, his upbringing and seeing a little boy who had to develop these coping skills that left him so emotionally crippled made me want to cry.

I imagined how life must have felt to that little boy. He grew up in pre- World War II in Germany during the rise of Hitler. Not only is he a product of the German culture: strict, efficient, judgmental, quiet, orderly, not known for being warm and caring. He also had an incredibly uneducated, abusive father and an although kind, but submissive mother. I can almost see that frightened little boy, growing up without any hugs or praise. Never a gentle word or any encouragement.

There were 4 kids in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment in “a child is to be seen, not heard” world. There were plenty of brutal beatings and degrading, critical comments. At the age of 10, he was inducted into the Hitler Youth. That meant living in a camp with other boys and severe, exacting caretakers for 4 years. I have no idea what kind of abuse he endured there, because he refuses to talk about it.

I don’t believe my dad could allow himself to be loving and soft. He had to develop some hard, twisted ways to cope with that cruel childhood of his. Love was a superfluous emotion.

I was deep in my adulthood, when I realized that he shows his love by feeding you. If he takes you out to eat, or cooks for you, you know he cares.

During the process of forgiving my dad, I sometimes thought I was finished, all done, nothing more to forgive. Yet, when I least expected it, another layer of stuff came up. But I was determined and it was worth it.

We have good conversations now, because on some level he feels that I no longer consider him guilty. We both learned to become softer with each other, trust more and share more intimately. On the other end, my brother, has not been able to let go of his anger toward his father. He still talks about many painful occasions as if they happened yesterday. Their relationship is strained and uncomfortable.

The path less taken:

Typically, when you think about forgiveness, you think of others who have wronged you.

Yet, the most profound act of forgiveness is self-forgiveness. I think few of us dare to look at the depth of pain we have caused. I don’t know why it is so difficult to forgive ourselves? We are unbelievably hard on ourselves.

It is so deep and heavy that you’d rather not acknowledge it. You might break under the realization that you have caused harm and suffering for others. At times, you may glimpse some of the damage you created. This kind pain can bring you to your knees with self-hatred.

No wonder you don’t want to look at it.

These are the parts that you hide from yourself, from others, that you cover up with a facade, a mask, with lots of activity to keep from having to deal with it.

As a matter of fact, most of us are so good at this cover up that we aren’t even aware of the complex, deeply layered protective mask we have created. I am including myself in this. We are masters at it, the greatest actors of all: Keeping busy, acting defensive, covering up! We can spend our whole lives like that.

When this awareness comes up, it is not a time to do busy work, turn on the TV, get a drink or do anything evasive to avoid it again.

When the pain comes up, it is time to get still and pay attention. Listen to it. What is it telling you? What do you need to look at?

Don’t be afraid! Your fears are just thoughts. They can’t harm you.

This kind of pain wreaks havoc with your body, your mind, your relationships, your daily life.

My father is not able to look at himself. His pain must be enormous, because he has punished himself with such severe physical pain and lack of relationships that it breaks my heart. His body barely functions anymore, he spends more time in hospitals than home and feels alone and unloved.

Because, you see, when you can forgive yourself, there is only understanding and compassion left for others. There is only kindness and gentleness left………and self-esteem!

We see in others what is in us. How can you see goodness out there if it isn’t in you first? The people in our lives are a reflection of ourselves.

“Where there is forgiveness, there God resides — Kabir, page 137

In this self-forgiveness miracles happen. Our DNA literally changes, because our insides are no longer twisted up and our cells can work properly again. Healing begins!

There are many who have been healed physically and emotionally through forgiveness. I am incredibly blessed that some of these exceptional human beings are my friends. Exceptional, because they tackled the work of forgiveness. Check out Dr. Vernon Sylvest’s miraculous healing on h ttp://www.vmsylvestmd.com/

What I have learned:

We all need teachers and guidance at times. One of my teachers is an amazing woman, who has been healed of cancer twice, and joy and happiness literally ooze from her being, even across distance. Lauren Lane Powell https://www.harmoniesofhealing.com.

We met when I was writing “How to Create Passion Spirit Adventure” https://amzn.to/2svA4iW and interviewing people who love their work. She subsequently walked through the valley of the shadow of death twice.

Lauren has been teaching me that the pain and anger is lodged in our bodies and cannot be released simply by thinking it away.

She taught me a practice that puts awareness into the body and allows release at the cellular level. This requires energy and sometimes I don’t have it. But there is always more than one way to do forgiveness work. What’s important is doing the practice, NOT pushing the difficult, painful feelings away!

Pain, Sorrow, Fear, Sadness are our travel companions in this lifetime. I don’t know anyone who can escape them. Why not make friends with them, acknowledge them? When you shine a light into the darkness, the power of the fear diminishes. It lessens the intensity of the negative feelings and allows the positive to return more quickly.

Let me know if I can help or if you would like to learn a powerful forgiveness practice.

God bless you!

Mind/Body Mindfulness awareness • broken arm • broken wrist • love • mind body connection • mindfulness • mindfulness meditation • mindfulness practice • mindfulness training • mindfulness workshop • pain • sacred • Self-improvement • Self-love October 13, 2015 By Christina de Valencia 0 Comments

The Unexpected Break – Mind/Body Science

This is the first in a series of newsletters looking at how our feelings affect our lives and bodies. It is powerful knowledge that can help eliminate pain in all areas of your life. If you are struggling with something, send me an email or call.

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The majority (maybe all, but who can prove it) of our physical ailments, diseases or accidents originate in our minds.

I’m a believer in the body/mind concept: The health of our minds and our bodies are inextricably connected to the transformation of our spirit.

In other words, much of what plays out in our bodies is generated by subtle thoughts that we may not even be aware of. We are all conditioned, beginning in childhood, not to pay attention to our feelings and thoughts. These thoughts, which generate feelings, play over and over in our minds until they take form.

An easy to understand example of the mind/body connection is our fight or flight response, which begins with a thought that we are in danger. This activates a hormone and our bodies respond with an increased heart rate and a quicker, more shallow breath.

Another one we are all familiar with is stress. Consistent stress creates tension in our bodies, lowers our immune system and leads to a variety of dis-eases, including heart dis-ease, headaches, etc.

I just broke my right wrist and I have never had a broken bone in my life.

Something wanted my attention!

I am right-handed ……and yes, I’m writing this with my left hand.

But the really crazy thing is that it has been a deeply spiritual, sacred experience for me, because I almost immediately realized why this happened.

Ironically, I also wanted to learn to become more proficient with my left hand, because the left side of our bodies accesses the right brain and our feminine side. Maintaining harmony between the right and the left side, the masculine and feminine, is the key to wholeness.

It happened after it had been raining for days and I wanted to rescue my water-logged plants on the back deck. I opened the french doors and stepped out in my bare feet. My foot slipped on the wet wood and the rest was a blur. That pain has to be an 11 on a scale of 1 to 10. All I could do was lay there in the rain; neither my brain nor any part of my body functioned for several minutes.

After I used my good side to get up and walk back inside to the couch, crying in frustration and pain, I had the awareness that I didn’t really understand what my daughter went through when she broke her arm years ago. Realizing how we don’t know what anyone goes through unless we’ve walked a mile in their shoes, I cried for the suffering of others.

Then I gave in to fear.

I don’t know what it was all about. Fear of aging, laying there helpless, of the unknown, the state of the world……it just spiraled out of control.

I knew I had to call someone, but the person I wanted to call was my girl-friend in another state. It didn’t make sense.

In retrospect I know that I was being guided!!

My friend was out walking on the beach with a Body, Mind, Spirit Counselor, Dale Bach https://dalebach.com/. I don’t even know why she picked up the phone, except that is how everything falls into place when it’s meant to be. My friend quickly put Dale on the phone, who went into healing mode and reminded me that I am always connected a higher source, our creator, God. She instructed me to breathe in that light connection and affirm my ability to heal.

Recognizing that truth, I became instantly calm.

In my pain, I had forgotten what I know as a teacher and counselor:

All our healing, inner and outer, take place as we connect to a higher state in which we forgive and choose love (but that is a topic for another time).

In the emergency room and after wards, while on strong pain medication, I kept having these lucid thoughts, which showed up almost like a movie……..what this “accident” meant and what I was to do with it.

I knew what was going on within me prior to the break, but I chose not to pay attention.

“When we are on automatic pilot, trying to get someplace else all the time without being attentive to where we already are, we can leave a wake of disaster behind us in terms of our own health and well-being, because we’re not listening to the body. We’re not paying attention to its messages; we’re not even in our bodies much of the time,” explains Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD.

For weeks, I had been working constantly for someone else at something I didn’t want to do. Every day, sometimes 12 hours a day. I felt exhausted and unhappy about it, but didn’t know how to extricate myself from it. Gradually, I had taken on another person’s problem.

I knew I needed to step away, but I kept talking myself out of doing the right thing. Partly, I think, I didn’t want to be thought of badly and I felt needed.

Frequently, we all feel conflicted within: We pray for answers, we know what we should do, but choose not to, because it’s difficult. I’m no different.

Breaking my wrist took care of that. Now I can’t do that particular work anymore.

I am, instead, taking responsibility for myself again. A friend of mine calls it “keeping her side of the street clean”. Sometimes helping is not in the other person’s best interest.

If you call it the universe, or God, or my own mind that engineered this situation…..it was unavoidable under the circumstances.

What this means, however, is very clear.

We are never alone.
We are always shown our path!
We are never victims.
We only have to choose to become present, notice the signs and follow the guidance.

I’m so willing to pay attention now and not continue to help manage someone else’s life.

Our purpose is to first learn to love ourselves. Self-Love is not arrogance or entitlement (that’s insecurity). Love thy neighbor AS yourself, Mark 12:31. It is only in being kind instead of critical, patient instead of harsh, loving instead of condemning to our own flawed selves that we can learn to extend that to others. When we finally learn to listen to what we are being guided to do, we can stop interfering in others’ lives. We each have our own journey.

I feel blessed, almost giddy, with my new awareness. It’s no longer just an intellectual knowing. Next time, I plan to learn without hurting myself.

If you are struggling with seeing the purpose of something in your life, send me an email or call. We don’t have to go it alone.

804-306-7287

Gratitude Mindfulness appreciation • gratefulness • insight • mindfulness • mindfulness meditation • mindfulness practice • mindfulness training • mindfulness workshop • Self-improvement • thankfulness August 2, 2015 By Christina de Valencia 0 Comments

Gratitude revisited

“If the only prayer you say in your life is ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.” – Meister Eckhart

As I live my life and experience things I hadn’t planned on or even been able to imagine happening in my life, I am revisiting gratitude. It’s a popular subject, I’ve written about it previously. So it seems that there is nothing left to say. But, as with all things, we can always go deeper, there are always more layers to uncover.

I’m not interested in preaching, that’s not why I am writing this article. Because – you either choose to become grateful and appreciate the people and things in your life or you don’t. It’s your path and I accept your choice.

This is about sharing my journey. Maybe it resonates with you.

Lately, as the layers are coming off the proverbial onion, I am sometimes simply overwhelmed with gratitude. Bowled over, breathless, moved to the core of my soul.

As I look at my child or the man I love, I literally can feel ecstatic with gratitude for their presence in my life, for the gift of seeing their faces.

Sharing a cup of coffee with someone I love can be so beautiful that it takes my breath away. Smelling freshly cut grass, tasting that first bite of chocolate or sip of apple-juice.

Recognizing that the wheels of my car are safely taking me to my destination. Watching birds sing to each other. Getting a phone call or text from a friend…..

Sometimes in quiet moments, I become aware of the gift of my body….the way it works, how many years we have traveled this earth together, the wide range of feelings I experience through it, the beauty my eyes allow me to see, the foods my mouth has tasted, the many tasks my hands perform…….it’s nothing less than a miracle. I now appreciate this body, after years of bestowing upon it regular, steady doses of belittling, criticizing, hostility, hatred and all manner of ugliness.

Those intense feelings of thankfulness lately have caused me to re-evaluate gratitude.

This is what I’ve noticed:

I’m more capable at this time in my life to appreciate things I don’t even like. I can see beauty where before it was all ugliness. I can take more things in stride (that’s never been an easy thing in my life) and know it’ll be ok.

And I’ve realized that even if you haven’t sought gratitude in your life, life will sometimes bring you to it, because you recognize that things could be worse or you could lose what you treasure.

So this is what I have come to understand: as we age, we either begin to appreciate and feel thankful or we become bitter.

You can make that choice!

All of us need constant reminders to keep us on track. We are like little children who have to be told over and over again to close the door or brush our teeth. Only after many years of being told and doing it, does it become a natural behavior for us.

As adults it seems to sometimes take us forever to even remember something that we sincerely want to implement in our lives. Not to mention doing it.

This is what I am offering: A reminder!

But I also want to remind you to be kind to yourself!!! Don’t force yourself to feel appreciative for something that momentarily (or permanently) leaves you feeling frustrated or annoyed. Instead, notice the thing or person that you can be grateful for and focus on that.

Don’t beat yourself up!!! We are so good at that in varying degrees. The first commandment in gratitude law is GIVE THANKS FOR YOUR UNIQUE SELF!!

This is also one of the Ten Commandments: Love your neighbor, AS YOURSELF! Giving thanks for yourself is loving yourself.

You are reading this, therefore you are someone who is already making an effort to live a happier, healthier and more peaceful life. You are on the right path! Now be gentle to yourself and appreciate the little (at times even big) steps you take in your journey on this planet.

In gratitude for your presence in my life!

Happiness Mindfulness acceptance • enjoyment • Gratitude • Happiness • mindfulness • mindfulness meditation • mindfulness practice • mindfulness training • mindfulness workshop • money • peace • Self-improvement • self-pity • stop doing • Stress April 15, 2015 By Christina de Valencia 0 Comments

Oh That Elusive HAPPINESS

The Art of Happiness. If it doesn’t come naturally, we have to help it along.

Sometimes when nothing seems to go right, Stop!!………Stop all the frantic activity and go DO something you like.

I’m sure you have been told that when you are constantly busy, running around taking care of stuff, nothing changes, nothing new can come in. Your mind is not at peace, your body is stressed out, your emotions are on edge and everywhere you turn presents you with another roadblock.

A glass of wine is good, but maybe not in the morning.

Meditation will definitely get you on a better track, but it seems at times it’s nearly impossible to just sit down and get quiet.

Your mind is racing, your adrenaline is high and the last thing you can imagine is sitting still. That’s why it’s sometimes more productive to do something you really enjoy to get back to a happier place, to find your happiness.

I love to do physical stuff, like painting walls or furniture, digging in the garden, building a little table, fixing something, creating wood-art, practicing yoga or taking a walk on the beach.

You don’t have a moment to stop and spend time “goofing off”, you say? Really? Will you have the time to get sick, have a mental break-down or at the very least get into disagreements with your loved ones? We really all do have time to stop every once in a while.

We have to prioritize. What is more important in this moment: What we are doing or our sanity?

Do something you enjoy!

Your kids can miss a soccer game once in a while. If you don’t make it to the grocery store after work, you won’t starve. Your spouse can take care of that task without you. If you don’t have a spouse, leave it for another day (it works for Latinos….manana). Ask someone for help. People really do want to help, as long as you don’t abuse it.

I have a couple of rental homes and one of them had a serious roof-leak. It literally rains in. The tenant had to put some pots and pans out to catch the drips. This stresses me out to the max. The thought of the tenant being upset, the damage the water is causing, the expense……on and on. In the meantime, I can’t get a hold of the roofer. It won’t stop raining (I’m in NC right now). But, I suddenly realize, I have absolutely no control over this at the moment. I already left a message for the roofer. I apologized to the tenant. “Money comes easily and frequently” (my favorite mantra).

It was out of my hands.

Still tense, I located my paintbrush, pulled out that new can of paint and started painting my bathroom.

My mind calmed down in minutes, a space opened up for better thoughts, my breathing regulated…..all without me having to work hard at it. That’s the best part! I am tired of working so hard at everything. Aren’t you?

Then I remembered three things that always shift the energy and open the door for happiness:

1. Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself!

Self-pity is the very worst kind of emotion. It kinda sneaks in there and before you know it you are all about it. It destroys everything around itself, and leaves you feeling powerless.

Stop being the victim, stop feeling sorry for yourself – and be happy.

2. Be Grateful

Life is so fast-paced that we rarely recognize and acknowledge the wonder of it all.

Think of all the things you’re grateful for right now: family, health, home, your puppy, your red shoes, the grass, the sunshine, everything. Spend time being grateful each day – and be happy.

3. Accept What Is

We frequently resist what is. Just say “Yes!” more to all of life’s experiences. Don’t fight the river’s current. Say “Yes!” more to emotions, situations, social invitations, adventures – and be happy.

Before I knew it I was smiling. Happiness……………it’s a process, not a destination.

To Your Happiness, with Love

Mindfulness Psych-K Counseling • intention • meditation • mindfulness • mindfulness meditation • mindfulness practice • mindfulness training • mindfulness workshop • positive thinking • psych-K • self-help • Self-improvement • sexual healing • vision board • workshops March 25, 2015 By Christina de Valencia 0 Comments

Positive Pitfalls and I’ll tell you Why!

Thinking positive is a great start, but it will not always get you what you desire.

Do you think there has to be more than the law of attraction, positive thinking,Vision-boards, meditation, workshops and willpower??

You’ve done it all! Positive thinking, affirmations, talk therapy and you’ve read all the self-help books you could get your hands on.

Is it working for you?

Honestly!!

If you are like me and all the people I have spoken to….. NO, it isn’t working.

You probably know more about yourself (and others) than ever before. You know what you should do. You know how you should think and act. You have gathered enough wisdom and knowledge to write your own book.

Yet…..

The instructions don’t seem to be clear. Somehow it isn’t coming together.

You believe that you are a spiritual being having a human experience.

You visualize that promotion, put it on your vision-board, practice in front of the mirror, set the intention prior to your meditation, you try to surrender…….and still ……nothing.

You wonder, does it work for others? It must! Maybe something is wrong with you.

NO, it isn’t you!

Your subconscious beliefs are the culprit.

That is the only thing that has not been addressed: the part of your mind that stores the beliefs programmed during your childhood. Beliefs that may be limiting you now.

The fact is, we don’t get what we deserve, we get what we believe we deserve.

You may disagree, saying that you make conscious decisions. You choose to eat the right foods, pick the smart, successful guy or sweet woman, think logically about what to say, your decisions are based on intelligent research…..I’m here to tell you there is more at work than your conscious effort!

Have you ever noticed patterns in your behavior? Are you consistently reacting angry, frustrated, submissive, helpless toward others or situations. Maybe you are never getting that promotion regardless of your efforts. Never feeling quite like you belong, feeling like you always get the short end of the stick, not enjoying sex, always finding something to criticize or feeling criticized, not quite attaining that sense of self-worth, people are always asking you to do more…..

Does any of this resonate with you?

Your subconscious is directing your life. Those are your core beliefs at work!

It’s really very simple. When you enter this planet as an infant, you are completely dependent on the adults around you to provide you with information. You are more open to learning than you will ever be. You absorb everything around you. More than that, everything you see and feel is your truth. The only truth you know.

If your parents struggle financially, you learn that it is difficult to make money.
If your parents argue constantly, you learn how to be in a relationship.
If you are reprimanded a lot, you learn to believe that you are not good enough.
If your sibling gets more attention than you for whatever reason, you learn to believe that you are not worth much.

Those are the beliefs you take out into the world. They do not disappear, they drive your life without your awareness.

If you find yourself being very suspicious of others, guess what is at work! If you are constantly struggling with something or more things in life, guess what…

That is why we can’t overcome our deepest beliefs with affirmations or visualizations, although they have their place and are useful.

You must work with your beliefs and perceptions, which reside in your subconscious mind.

I use a remarkable process, which allows you to quickly and painlessly change subconscious beliefs and facilitate positive change.

Free yourself from these limiting beliefs, break out of your prison, experience freedom!

Rob Williams, the founder of this process, says: “Research shows that PSYCH-K creates a Whole-Brain State, which in turn acts as a kind of “gateway to higher consciousness,” elevating thinking capacity to new levels of functionality and creativity.”

For scientific research about this process go to https://www.psych-k.com/psych-h-research

Mindfulness Success climate • east coast • energy • Europe • exotic islands • Happiness • location • mindfulness meditation • mindfulness practice • mindfulness training • mindfulness workshop • Self-improvement • vibration • weather • west coast March 18, 2015 By Christina de Valencia 0 Comments

Wherever you go, there you are…….NOT

Wherever you go, there you are, right? Sounds reasonable. After all, you are going, therefore you will find yourself there. Wherever that is.

Going to the supermarket? There you are. Going to Africa? There you are.

What if I said…. not so fast. Maybe you won’t find all of yourself there. Or you’ll find parts of yourself that you didn’t know existed.

People like to say that everything will be the same regardless of location. At least many people in my life have said that. I’ve been told that happiness is within and if you can’t be happy here, you won’t be happy anywhere.

Well, I am disputing that!

I haven’t attained enlightenment yet, so I am still working on finding the best way to maneuver through this life. And yes, I do know that happiness is ultimately within, but there are definitely some exterior circumstances affecting it.

This is what I have found.

Each location carries its own energy. It has its own frequency.

It is something we cannot see, but we have an awareness of it.

You have experienced vibrational energy when you think of times you entered a room full of people. Entering that room may have felt welcoming to you, because it was filled with happy people and positivity. It may have felt uptight, stressful and filled with nervous energy. It may have felt like there was a lot of anger and disappointment.

Whatever it was, you noticed. It affected you.

I use that example because each place on our planet carries its own type of energy based on local history, beliefs, way of life and the climate. Yes, the weather matters.

Compared to the US, Europeans, for example, have a completely different outlook on life, based on their history. That continent has experienced so much change and upheaval. It is like a really old person, who has had a long eventful life. That society has gone through being ruled by Kings and Emperors, Tyrants and modern day Politicians. It has gone through the Dark Ages, the Industrial Revolution, many, many wars, including WWI and WWII, famine, the Depression…….just to name a few. This past has affected the population, it is in their genes, their DNA. A child in Europe is born with that burden of his or her ancestors’ knowledge.

The people in Europe have a long past; hundreds, thousands of years. Going back to the Stone Age and further. It is all condensed and packed into that small continent. You can feel that.

Northern Europeans are generally more somber and intense. Customarily, they smile less and accept the difficulties of life more readily. They have their rules, manners and etiquette. They have their own type of humor, which is typically more sarcastic.

Southern Europeans have that history as well, but they have a warmer climate. Think of Italy, Spain and Greece for example. The energy there is distinctly different from the North. There is more laughter, dancing and an easier way of life layered on top of that somber, age old density of disappointment, pain and suffering.

The climate, as you see, plays a huge part in our lives.

When it is cold, we bundle up, huddle within ourselves and tensely focus on our outside chores to get them done quickly. We stick with what we know and don’t venture outside of that realm generally. The cold doesn’t invite an open, languid, leisurely way of life. Warmth and sunshine on the other hand, create a free, expansive environment. We like being outside, taking our time and being relaxed.

Each continent has its prevailing energy. Each country within that continent develops its own belief system and culture, which gives off its own variation of that energy. You can break that down again into states and counties even.

So, let’s say, you are from Minnesota and I am from Florida. Would you agree that we have a different outlook on life and therefore have our own distinctive spirit? If we each felt our very best in our home states, it’s reasonable to say that if you went to Florida, you might feel off and not totally yourself.

If your nature is open, sociable and active, you will probably feel really miserable in a place where people are closed, suspicious and keep to themselves.

I’ve talked to many people who took the risk to change their circumstances. People who didn’t do well where they were planted. They assumed that this was just the way it was. They had no idea that a change in location could change their lives.

One young man was a terrible student. He barely graduated High School, got into drugs and didn’t look forward to much. His days consisted of odd jobs and hanging out with like-minded buddies. Going to college was not a consideration. However, a few things occurred that caused him to explore a college in another state. He packed his beat up old jeep with a few belongings and moved. Today he is contemplating getting his PhD, is a spiritual, productive, active health nut and has tons of successful friends. He loves where he lives and knows this would not have happened in his place of origin.

An older Australian couple occasionally vacationed on an exotic island, while they were raising their kids. Life was a struggle, filled with somber, soul deadening jobs and chores. There was no lightness and even less laughter. As soon as the kids graduated and went out on their own, they left everything behind to move to that island. I met them surrounded by good friends in a room filled with laughter, anticipation and happiness. This couple had no idea how to make it financially. They sold their belongings and simply trusted that it would work out. It did!

A very successful American woman in her new location didn’t always experience life that way. She used to be married, was raising the kids while he worked and couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. All this while living in Europe. It should have been a dream come true. It wasn’t for her. She found herself at the end of her rope, packed up the kids and moved to the east coast of the US, which suited her so much better and she found her calling.

You probably know someone who took the chance to go somewhere else and it turned out to be the best move they made, because the energy in that new location suited their personality better.

This country has many different energies. The east is built on history, it is older, more set in its ways. It takes a while for a newcomer to be accepted. People typically keep to themselves and stick with the tried and true.

The west was settled by pioneers. Their very nature was curious, adventuresome, open, searching for a better life. It is still the place where most new thoughts and things originate; things that first appear unusual and weird are tried. Odd experiments are accepted and people connect more easily, because being open to new ways of doing things was essential in the pioneer days.

There isn’t really anything new in this universe, but that is another topic.

The point is: Location makes a difference! There are places on this planet that bring out our optimal personality. Places that actually make you more content and possibly happier. Your heart sings. Your life feels richer, more stimulating or peaceful, more joyful, which in turn makes you a more contributing, productive, loving member of society.

So don’t let anyone tell you, wherever you go, there you are. Explore for yourself! You might find you are not at all who you thought you were.