Tag: Gratitude

Happiness Mindfulness acceptance • enjoyment • Gratitude • Happiness • mindfulness • mindfulness meditation • mindfulness practice • mindfulness training • mindfulness workshop • money • peace • Self-improvement • self-pity • stop doing • Stress April 15, 2015 By Christina de Valencia 0 Comments

Oh That Elusive HAPPINESS

The Art of Happiness. If it doesn’t come naturally, we have to help it along.

Sometimes when nothing seems to go right, Stop!!………Stop all the frantic activity and go DO something you like.

I’m sure you have been told that when you are constantly busy, running around taking care of stuff, nothing changes, nothing new can come in. Your mind is not at peace, your body is stressed out, your emotions are on edge and everywhere you turn presents you with another roadblock.

A glass of wine is good, but maybe not in the morning.

Meditation will definitely get you on a better track, but it seems at times it’s nearly impossible to just sit down and get quiet.

Your mind is racing, your adrenaline is high and the last thing you can imagine is sitting still. That’s why it’s sometimes more productive to do something you really enjoy to get back to a happier place, to find your happiness.

I love to do physical stuff, like painting walls or furniture, digging in the garden, building a little table, fixing something, creating wood-art, practicing yoga or taking a walk on the beach.

You don’t have a moment to stop and spend time “goofing off”, you say? Really? Will you have the time to get sick, have a mental break-down or at the very least get into disagreements with your loved ones? We really all do have time to stop every once in a while.

We have to prioritize. What is more important in this moment: What we are doing or our sanity?

Do something you enjoy!

Your kids can miss a soccer game once in a while. If you don’t make it to the grocery store after work, you won’t starve. Your spouse can take care of that task without you. If you don’t have a spouse, leave it for another day (it works for Latinos….manana). Ask someone for help. People really do want to help, as long as you don’t abuse it.

I have a couple of rental homes and one of them had a serious roof-leak. It literally rains in. The tenant had to put some pots and pans out to catch the drips. This stresses me out to the max. The thought of the tenant being upset, the damage the water is causing, the expense……on and on. In the meantime, I can’t get a hold of the roofer. It won’t stop raining (I’m in NC right now). But, I suddenly realize, I have absolutely no control over this at the moment. I already left a message for the roofer. I apologized to the tenant. “Money comes easily and frequently” (my favorite mantra).

It was out of my hands.

Still tense, I located my paintbrush, pulled out that new can of paint and started painting my bathroom.

My mind calmed down in minutes, a space opened up for better thoughts, my breathing regulated…..all without me having to work hard at it. That’s the best part! I am tired of working so hard at everything. Aren’t you?

Then I remembered three things that always shift the energy and open the door for happiness:

1. Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself!

Self-pity is the very worst kind of emotion. It kinda sneaks in there and before you know it you are all about it. It destroys everything around itself, and leaves you feeling powerless.

Stop being the victim, stop feeling sorry for yourself – and be happy.

2. Be Grateful

Life is so fast-paced that we rarely recognize and acknowledge the wonder of it all.

Think of all the things you’re grateful for right now: family, health, home, your puppy, your red shoes, the grass, the sunshine, everything. Spend time being grateful each day – and be happy.

3. Accept What Is

We frequently resist what is. Just say “Yes!” more to all of life’s experiences. Don’t fight the river’s current. Say “Yes!” more to emotions, situations, social invitations, adventures – and be happy.

Before I knew it I was smiling. Happiness……………it’s a process, not a destination.

To Your Happiness, with Love

Inspiration empower • Gratitude • help • inspire • loving • unselfish August 10, 2014 By Christina de Valencia 0 Comments

Real Heroes in my Life

I have been posting an August gratitude challenge on facebook and was thinking a lot about the people in my life who give of themselves, who make a difference in the lives of others, who step up, who show they care. They go out of their way, they make sacrifices to help others, they empower their fellow human beings.

In our era of selfies, self focus, all things self….. that takes some effort.

So many articles, videos and talk shows lecture about focusing on yourself, doing what feels right to you, making your life the best ever; in short living a life centered around self. Life is supposed to be fun, joyful and happy. Oprah talks about it, life coaches, counselors and even your friends tell you that this is how life is meant to be.

We are encouraged to always sound upbeat and empowered, springy and positive. As Americans we already do a lot of that.

I think it is important to know who you are and what you want in life. It is true that you create what you think; therefore think clearly, watch your thoughts and be focused. I also teach that and have written about living a successful life.

However, there is a vast number of people who are lost, confused, lonely, suffering in poverty, maybe with a serious illness or they simply have lost hope.

What if they aren’t in a good space in their lives at this time? Don’t we all have moments that feel like life is waging a war with us. Is that when we are supposed to pretend, be in denial?

What if they are living in poverty? All that matters then is survival. Those lofty goals of positive thinking and esoteric ideas are very low on their priority list.

What do we do when we see a fellow human being suffer? Turn away, because we don’t want to put our efforts there or have our energy dragged down? Or maybe we don’t want to look at the despair of another because it’s a reminder that it could be us and we are desperately working to stay in a good space? It can be scary to look at the dark side of life, to face the inner demons we all battle.

But life is not one dimensional! There can be no light without darkness, no good without the bad, no up without the down.

These are the facts!

But we tend to get on the bandwagon if it sounds good and we forget to think or dig a little deeper.

With that in mind, I am feeling grateful to know some real live heroes.

One of them is Richard Lawson, a young man who gave up his life to travel the globe to help orphans and girls who are sold into the sex trade. You can read about it on his website: www.lovingorphansglobal.org and I wrote about him in my book: “Step On It” https://amzn.to/1lNBScK

Another is Alicia Kozuch Komar at https://www.buenpower.com. She saw a need for light in Peru in remote, poverty stricken villages. Children who walk for miles to attend school, have no day light left to read or do homework. Families cannot finish their work because it is dark. Alicia sacrifices her life and needs to bring solar powered lights to others.

Dave Elsberry rides a bicycle across the country to raise money for MS victims at https://daverides.com. He recently rode from California to Maryland in 7 days. He has a heart the size of Texas.

Pam Lewko Elsberry is by far the most loving, generous, kind, inspiring business associate I have ever worked with at www.lyoness.com. If you want to make it, she’s there to make sure you have the tools.

Your not so average Real Estate investor, Jim Ingersoll, believes in truly helping people who are looking to find a better way by being real and living like a true Christian at https://investingnownetwork.com

There a many more heroes in my life, many who quietly go about helping, inspiring and uplifting others on a daily basis. I know that’s who I want to be!

Gratitude Counseling • faith • Gratitude • Happiness • having enough • love • soul • spirit • trust September 15, 2013 By Christina de Valencia 0 Comments

Gratitude

Gratitude turns what you have into enough. When you are in a grateful state of mind, you’ll feel more positive, life is better and you’ll start attracting more positive people and circumstances. Thankfulness is an attitude that you can practice and develop. The whole experience of gratitude—is really about forcing ourselves to pay attention to the good things in life, things we’d otherwise take for granted. Start a journal about feeling grateful. I don’t think it’s necessary or even all that good to write every single day. There is the tendency to get numb to all the good things in our lives. It is similar to the numbness we develop when watching too much violence and suffering.

Start by feeling grateful for being alive. Give thanks for your body, even if you don’t like everything about it. Imagine not having this body, imagine not being able to touch, see, feel and hear the life around you. Now look at your hands! Appreciate all they do and feel. Feel your skin as you rub that lotion in, notice as you touch that fuzzy blanket, your furry pet, that round stone from the beach. Hug someone in your family or a friend and really feel them. Do that with your eyes, your ears, your sense of taste and smell………..

So pay attention to your senses! What are you seeing? Notice the things you normally take for granted, like the colors of the flowers or the glistening of the snow. Notice the details in the landscape you see every day. Look at it with new eyes.

Listen, especially when it is quiet. Can you hear the wind rustling the leaves in the tree? Do you hear that dog barking? If he annoys you, imagine not being able to hear anything? That joy of hearing the birds in the morning. People laughing, a song you love, the sound of your kids’ voices……….notice the sounds of life all around you.

Enjoy the taste of your food. We usually gobble our meals without really considering what we are eating or drinking. Savor your food, anything can become a feast if you slow down and appreciate the flavors.

Smell that fresh coffee in the morning. The air right after it rained. The food, the flowers, that perfume you love, the smell of a newborn.

If it all gets to be too much, you are overwhelmed and no amount of goodwill is going to make a difference: get away! Leave the house, the job, the kids, maybe the country. Take some time off. Explore a different way of life. It’s ok, we are all just doing the best we can.

Avoid the trap of being grateful for something that is better than what other people have. Instead, compare whatever you are grateful for and imagine how you would feel if you didn’t have it at all. What if you wouldn’t have that family, those friends, or even your problems. What if you had Steven Hawkins’ problems, or President Obama’s or even your neighbor’s or friend’s problems? Practice gratitude and appreciation for everything in your life: people, abilities, experiences, our planet, plants…..the list is endless.

Usually our best memories are made when we are playful, light-hearted. Realize beauty in every moment, and in everyday activities. Make time for those moments. Be spontaneous. The most playful people are the ones who are most “tuned in” to the present. They’re so fascinated by the world at the moment that they’re always finding ways to engage it! For me one of the best ways to have fun and be completely present is boogie-boarding. It is pure joy to feel the water against my skin as I glide along on the wave.

People who have a strong sense of gratitude and count their blessings are generally happier and healthier. It is tough to feel thankful when things aren’t going right and you are stressed to the max. For that reason it is absolutely essential that you take a deep breath, get in the moment and find something to appreciate. You may tell me that I don’t understand because your deadline is in 5 minutes or the house is on fire……. but I maintain as long as you are physically safe – stop, breathe and find something good about your life right now. Like the old saying goes, “The past is history, the future is a mystery, and the present is a present”.

I love this prayer from Unity Church:

The light of God surrounds me;
The love of God enfolds me;
The power of God protects me;
The presence of God watches over me.
Wherever I am, God is and all is well.

It helps me to become present, to know that in this very moment I have all I need and everything is well. The world will not end because I am late for my appointment or I forgot to send that email. Choose Gratitude!