Life On The Roller-Coaster
Are you experiencing lots of different emotions lately?
One day you feel ok, the next you can’t seem to get out of bed. One day you are so depressed you can barely move, the next day you feel hopeful and energetic.
The word I hear everywhere is roller coaster.
The other thing I notice is this urgency to pretend we are ok.
We are not ok right now!!
Don’t even try to pretend. We are grieving!
Yes, it’s grief.
Grief is an intense physical and psychological response to loss. It’s a necessary, normal and natural reaction to loss or change of any kind. Your mind and body are trying to make sense of the loss.
We have lost so much. We have lost our sense of security about life itself, our very existence. No one knows what the future may bring.
If you had a successful small business, a thriving big business, a great gig at a cool restaurant, or a seemingly secure position at a solid company…it’s suddenly gone for most of us.
We don’t know what’s coming. It’s frightening and stressful to think about paying the bills or just even surviving. You have to grieve! Life as you knew it is gone.
My son offered to bring me some supplies and because I wanted to see him, said yes. We carefully transferred the goods and stood in the parking lot, six feet apart, talking. It felt weird. When he left we didn’t hug. We always hug. It felt unnatural. I was sad afterwards
Along with grief we are afraid. Afraid to realistically look at the future, afraid to go out among others, afraid to die.
A friend was beside herself because someone close was dying and she could not see him or comfort him. It broke her heart to know he had to go through this alone.
You may ask yourself what is the purpose of this kind of life?
In grief we feel shock, anxiety, anger, depression, defiance, denial and finally acceptance. Not necessarily in this order and to varying degrees. That’s the roller coaster.
I spent quite a while in shock, maybe longer than most. A lot of people in one of my business groups were acting all positive and doing business as usual. I couldn’t do that.
But I stopped beating myself up. I gave myself permission to do nothing. To sleep late, to tune out. I gave myself time to process this.
It’s human nature to want to understand and categorize life.
We don’t have to pretend that our sad and scared feelings aren’t there. That our feelings should be dismissed or handled by learning something positive.
Sad feelings are a part of life. They exist! Especially during these times, you may wake up and forget for a moment, then you remember. It hits you. Hard.
This virus pandemic takes away our sense of security. We don’t know what will come next. We can’t count on anything anymore.
Although I have no solution for this thing we are experiencing, I do know that most of us are forced to slow down. Within this forced seclusion, whether alone or with family, we are reconnecting with ourselves and nature.
That’s a positive thing!
Parents have to pay attention to their children. Couples are forced to deal with each other. Single people have to come to terms with themselves.
And there is hope. Nothing lasts forever. This too shall pass. We can learn to adjust to a new way of life.
