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Live Your Best Life Now

Real Heroes in my Life

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I have been posting an August gratitude challenge on facebook and was thinking a lot about the people in my life who give of themselves, who make a difference in the lives of others, who step up, who show they care. They go out of their way, they make sacrifices to help others, they empower their fellow human beings.

In our era of selfies, self focus, all things self….. that takes some effort.

So many articles, videos and talk shows lecture about focusing on yourself, doing what feels right to you, making your life the best ever; in short living a life centered around self. Life is supposed to be fun, joyful and happy. Oprah talks about it, life coaches, counselors and even your friends tell you that this is how life is meant to be.

We are encouraged to always sound upbeat and empowered, springy and positive. As Americans we already do a lot of that.

I think it is important to know who you are and what you want in life. It is true that you create what you think; therefore think clearly, watch your thoughts and be focused. I also teach that and have written about living a successful life.

However, there is a vast number of people who are lost, confused, lonely, suffering in poverty, maybe with a serious illness or they simply have lost hope.

What if they aren’t in a good space in their lives at this time? Don’t we all have moments that feel like life is waging a war with us. Is that when we are supposed to pretend, be in denial?

What if they are living in poverty? All that matters then is survival. Those lofty goals of positive thinking and esoteric ideas are very low on their priority list.

What do we do when we see a fellow human being suffer? Turn away, because we don’t want to put our efforts there or have our energy dragged down? Or maybe we don’t want to look at the despair of another because it’s a reminder that it could be us and we are desperately working to stay in a good space? It can be scary to look at the dark side of life, to face the inner demons we all battle.

But life is not one dimensional! There can be no light without darkness, no good without the bad, no up without the down.

These are the facts!

But we tend to get on the bandwagon if it sounds good and we forget to think or dig a little deeper.

With that in mind, I am feeling grateful to know some real live heroes.

One of them is Richard Lawson, a young man who gave up his life to travel the globe to help orphans and girls who are sold into the sex trade. You can read about it on his website: www.lovingorphansglobal.org and I wrote about him in my book: “Step On It” https://amzn.to/1lNBScK

Another is Alicia Kozuch Komar at https://www.buenpower.com. She saw a need for light in Peru in remote, poverty stricken villages. Children who walk for miles to attend school, have no day light left to read or do homework. Families cannot finish their work because it is dark. Alicia sacrifices her life and needs to bring solar powered lights to others.

Dave Elsberry rides a bicycle across the country to raise money for MS victims at https://daverides.com. He recently rode from California to Maryland in 7 days. He has a heart the size of Texas.

Pam Lewko Elsberry is by far the most loving, generous, kind, inspiring business associate I have ever worked with at www.lyoness.com. If you want to make it, she’s there to make sure you have the tools.

Your not so average Real Estate investor, Jim Ingersoll, believes in truly helping people who are looking to find a better way by being real and living like a true Christian at https://investingnownetwork.com

There a many more heroes in my life, many who quietly go about helping, inspiring and uplifting others on a daily basis. I know that’s who I want to be!

REALITY: Objectivity is Subjective

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Life is a subjective experience and that cannot be escaped.

This truth is becoming more and more clear to me.

I recently visited a friend who lives in a place of complete disrepair, dirt and discomfort.

In my opinion.

However, because I love her so much, I listened to her perspective of her home. She feels such gratitude for her heavenly, peaceful retreat. While she shared that she dreams of having a functioning kitchen, she simultaneously acknowledged the enormous improvements in her home already. She has a vision of what it is to become and in the meantime she is surrounded by her books, music, art and her home-made gourmet meals.

This was a powerful example to me that every experience I have comes through my own, personal, unsharable viewpoint.

There can be no peer reviews of my direct experience, no real corroboration. This has some major implications for how I live my life. The most immediate one is that I realize I must trust my own personal experience, because nobody else has this perspective, it is all mine.

Another is that I feel more wonder for the world around me, knowing that any “objective” understanding I claim to have of the world is built entirely from scratch, by me.

Of course I am influenced by my culture and environment. Whether I live in Indonesia, Africa or wherever, I will take on that culture’s viewpoint and thought-patterns. But overall what I build depends on the experiences I’ve had, the books I’ve read, and the people I’ve met.

This means I will never see the world quite like anyone else, which means I will never live in quite the same world as anyone else — and therefore I mustn’t let outside observers be the authority on who I am or what life is really like for me.

This means that I must stop judging others!! I absolutely, positively must stop acting as the authority on everyone’s life, because I do not know their viewpoint, background, purpose or goal in life.

This leaves me with the responsibility for my own life, determining what is right for me without hurting others, yet being discerning about what I want to surround myself with.

No one can tell me what I should do, nor can I tell anyone what is in their best interest. That is why a good counselor or therapist will listen, truly listen to your subjective life experience and elicit the best answer for you.

Subjectivity is primary experience — it is real life, and objectivity is something each of us builds on top of it in our minds, privately, in order to explain it all.

This truth has world-shattering implications for the roles of religion and science in the lives of those who grasp it.

This contemplation was written in conjunction with a piece by David of Raptitude.

More on the Law of Attraction

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It has become such a common topic of conversation and it seems that everyone is an expert. Yes, just think better thoughts and your life will change.

Believing in the law of attraction seems to be the norm now. At least in my circles and also in most things I read. But the really honest people have begun to voice doubts and are raising questions.

Well, if it’s that easy, why hasn’t anything manifested? Why has nothing changed?

These are people who are doing the work. They meditate, they have laser like focus, they have a vision board or some kind of written goal, and they practice a positive outlook.

Yet…..nothing.

What is going on?

I do believe in the law of attraction. I do believe that our creator has put laws in place for us that rule our earthly existence. But when has anything been really simple?

Has it been in your life? It certainly hasn’t been in mine.

We believe because we have had an experience that confirms our thoughts.

First my story on why I believe.

When I lived in Virginia, I created vision board with just a few pictures. Material possessions weren’t a main goal at that time, my lifestyle was my top priority. I wanted to live in California, by the ocean, with a garden, restaurants and stores within walking distance and freedom in my work and way of life. The pictures I cut out stirred my soul and made me smile every day. I taped that vision board on my refrigerator and looked at it every morning while drinking my tea or coffee.

Within a year I had everything on that board. I didn’t even realize what was going on while it was in process. My husband got a job offer in California. We packed up a huge house full of stuff. He came out before I did and chose a place to live. All my previous work led up to this and gave me the financial freedom to live my desired lifestyle. I created my garden.

Success!

That was many years ago. In the meantime, I was led to work in a different arena where I spoke to many people about life.

This is what I have seen so far:

  • We often do not recognize our deepest beliefs (such as a deep sense of unworthiness or guilt).
  • We may be carrying old stuff, such as past life trauma or beliefs (that’s a topic for another time)
  • We may be so conditioned by society that we “want” what we are taught. In other words, we don’t really want it.

So of course, when we layer a desire on top of those deep-seated old patterns, it cannot bring you the consciously desired outcome.

You may get close enough to almost have it, but then it vanishes. Maybe that has happened to you more than once.

Depending on your general outlook on life, it can leave you frustrated to the point of giving up (wanting it) to feeling deep despair to giving up this life. I have seen that close up. It breaks my heart.

So, what is the solution?

Life on this planet is constantly expanding. Wouldn’t you agree?

We are experiencing things, awarenesses, lifestyles and possibilities we have not had before. A simple example is flying. A century ago my grandmother didn’t fly anywhere. She traveled by car at best. Then only the wealthy or well to do had the opportunity to get on a plane. Now, it seems everyone has been on a plane.

It’s the same with our awareness. A century ago we were still very focused on survival, fitting into a rigid society, we now have reached a way of life in which we can give attention to more esoteric topics.

Let’s go out on a limb here.

Life is energy, vibration. Many invisible forces are at work.

Some people on our planet are connected to these forces. They can see your energy, your vibration, maybe your past lives and deepest beliefs. They can channel God’s love and healing powers.

Check out “John of God” in Brazil, for example.

Maybe you have had a past life or experienced a traumatic event that has etched itself into your cellular memory. These things are difficult to eradicate with visualization only.

Maybe you feel deeply unworthy and are not aware of it. It’s a common human condition.

Utilize the abilities of these healers. See an intuitive, a psychic, a channeler. Go to workshops, retreats, get acupuncture, acupressure, cranio-sacral work, nutritional guidance.

There is so much out there. You will know or sense what is in your best interest.

If money is an issue, find people who have a deep trust and faith and will ask for donations only.

Even if you just explore, you will get answers you did not have before, which will guide you to your purpose.

For example, I have had only two cranio-sacral treatments in my life. After the first one, I couldn’t even have told you what it was. I only knew it was a powerful, life-changing experience for me.

Now I can tell you more about it, since the second one was equally powerful.

What I am saying is: Don’t give up!!! Explore, try different things and trust that your life is on purpose.

Check out our retreats, complete with healers and access to higher vibrations.

www.christinadevalencia.com go to Retreats and Events

or contact me christina@christinadevalencia.com

Peru Retreat

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One of my most magical, life-changing journeys has been to Peru.

Peru is a land of exceptional beauty, mystery, rich culture and traditions dating back  to the Incas. From the moment I stepped on the land here, I felt an obvious change, a shift in me. From the airport I saw breathtaking mountain vistas… and once we left the city, time slowed to a gentle rhythm, making my everyday stress and anxiety vanish as if I had been a dream from another life.

Everything there felt more alive, I felt more alive…the mountains, rivers, sky and even the hummingbirds seemed more vibrant! My days were spent soaking up the vibrations and energy from sacred sites and sitting in ceremony with our shamans. I met people from around the world feeling awed by the magic and sacredness of this experience.

I came home a different person, and I knew that I wanted to make this available to you.

to learn the secrets and steps behind living an empowered, passionate, purposeful life

to experience the power of the earth in Peru and participate in sacred ceremonies

to feel the vibration and energy of that ancient land

the opportunity and the ability to make a difference to poor families

 

We have put this retreat together so that you can experience a breakthrough in your life.

Your life will never be the same again.

Statistics show that more and more women feel dissatisfied, unhappy and depressed. They feel as if they are living life on a hamster wheel,  losing the hope of ever getting off.

Do you know anyone like that? 

Do you have time to go to counseling for years? It’s tough to change your life by reading a book

But when you put the four essential ingredients together required for a breakthrough, you better believe it’s going to happen.

If not now….when? I know this may be overused, but really, I ask you when will you actually DO something?

Are you going to live forever?

Do you really have the luxury of letting another day, week, month, years go by…..the same way?

Make an empowered and empowering decision. Join us on our November 2014 retreat in Peru.

Give yourself this gift.

Send an email or call to reserve your spot  

I can’t wait to see you on your path.

See itinerary

Life on this Planet

Integrity

I went to the beach the other day. A while ago I found a secluded area and that is where I was heading. We had clear, blue skies, but it was a bit cool and windy. I climbed down to my favorite spot.

I was thrilled to find that no one else was there.

The steep cliffs by the water broke some of the ragged, chilly wind coming off the water and it actually felt warm.

I took a deep breath and allowed that euphoric, exhilarating, mystical feeling of being at the ocean wash over me. The warm sun and the breeze felt so good. I began to relax.

I spread my towel, took off my shorts and sat down, giving thanks for this blessing. There wasn’t a soul for about a third of a mile in either direction.

A few moments later I noticed a man coming down the cliffs. He was trying to catch my attention. As a matter of fact, a quick glimpse affirmed that he was staring at me. I felt invaded and poignantly looked away, hoping he’d move on.

He put his towel down, no more than 20 feet away from me, and proceeded to take off ALL his clothes, making sure he was turned toward me.

I cringed, my whole body tightened, my peaceful retreat ruined. Annoyance and a little bit of fear crept in. Angry conversations…..all in my head: ”Why does he have to sit right here when there is all this space. Why does he keep staring at me, when I clearly want to be left alone? What kind of weirdo is this?”

Definitely uptight now, I kept reading the book I pulled out, determined to ignore him. I sat very still, barely breathing. I only shifted my position as he walked toward the water. I didn’t want to give him any additional reasons to watch me.

Being not too aware sometimes……I hate to admit this…..I finally questioned why I was doing this to myself. Why was I letting another person twist me all up inside and ruin my peace? Why was I still sitting here?

Social Psychologists tell us that we want to be liked and behave in ways to ensure positive feedback from others.

I started to wonder how often we do these things in life? Is it human nature to put up with this internal conflict or is it something we learned to do?

Were we taught by well-meaning adults who didn’t know any better themselves?

How many times a day do we allow others to make us feel sick, uneasy, confused and uptight? Why do we not walk away or say something when confronted with things that feel wrong?

We can all relate to stories where alarm bells go off internally, but we continue to play the “let’s not offend” game, even in the face of danger.

We’d rather abuse ourselves than take a stand for ourselves?

I think we have been conditioned to make nice, not to offend. We have become accustomed to that uncomfortable feeling within our bodies. We have forgotten how it feels to be in integrity with ourselves.

What would it look like if you could be honest with yourself?

Simply be in your body, feel what you feel and honor that. Just imagine what a sane world we would live in.……..

I know you think you can’t change your life…………..

RepetitionConsistency

 

 

 

After I wrote Hope and New Beginnings, I felt that there was more to say.

There is so much mystery and concern about attitudes, thoughts and beliefs. You wonder if you can ever change anything if certain thoughts have dominated your way of thinking for so long. Regardless of your efforts to think good thoughts, the old ones creep right back in on you.

As if that wasn’t enough, you question if you are good enough to deserve better, worthy enough of love, friends, health, or wealth? You ask yourself if you sufficiently appreciate what you already have. And then, oh boy, can you even learn to love yourself?

Here’s the good news: These things don’t have to come first. I was told: “You don’t have to wear a halo to manifest the changes you want.” Isn’t that the truth! There are plenty of people out there who aren’t all that good and have everything they want.

So, when those negative thoughts sneak back in, when those old beliefs re-assert themselves, and we’ve established that they will……………….Keep visualizing, keep imagining!!! Because your subconscious mind processes so much faster than your conscious mind.

Did you get that? Your subconscious processes faster and more thoroughly than your conscious mind! That’s huge. That is the way out.

It’s about repetition!!!

What are those negative beliefs, but repetitive thoughts, things you’ve learned, notions you have become familiar with. Changing them requires that same repeated process. Stay with it and things WILL have to change. It is a universal, spiritual law.

Here’s a little trick: Make flashcards about your negative, stressful thoughts, your anxiety producing moments….anticipate them. Get to know them. Write those situations on the front of your flashcards. Be descriptive, get into it, feel the emotions!

Then on the back write your solutions, your plan of attack, your positive visualization. When your mind goes into that downward spiral, when you forget that there is another way, when you can’t locate those positive thoughts, you will have your solution right there in front of you this time. Now that you are ready for those situations they will gradually lose their power over you.  You will be prepared, you will have a way out this time.

It’s simply a matter of understanding that if you do your part: visualize, prepare the way, and act “as if,” without looking over your shoulder for quick results, what you want must be added unto you… as will the feelings of worthiness, appreciation and loving your most lovable self.

Thoughts become things… choose the good ones!

If you need help, email christina@christinadevalencia.com

Please share if you find this helpful.

Hope and New Beginnings

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It’s Easter Sunday and I am reflecting on life.

I have so many things to be grateful for. We all have so much to be grateful for, even in the midst of perceived lack, illness or unhappiness. Life is just a miracle.

But still, there are those moments when you feel deeply stuck in your despair, trapped in that situation or body you find yourself in. Those feelings are familiar to you; it isn’t the first time you are experiencing this anguish. You think: “Is it ever going to get better? Why does this keep happening to me? I don’t think it’ll ever change.” In those instances you feel so helpless, you can’t come up with a way to shift those sensations.

It can feel like a whirlpool that is sucking you down, down, down……Or you feel like a caged animal who can see out, but can’t figure how to get out.

You know, in those times, I have found simple things work best.

  • Do something physical. If you can, get up and go for a walk or exercise. Work in the garden, play with a child.
  • Pay attention to what you are eating. The foods we eat can cause a sense of well-being or add to anxiety. When we feel bad we tend to eat things that are processed; like comfort foods and chocolate; or we have one too many drinks. Too much of that creates stress in our bodies. We are all such finely tuned beings even if we are in denial about it.
  • Keep visualizing and making your positive statements. Creative, positive thoughts are more powerful than negative thoughts, because we are spiritual creatures. Get off the computer, your phone or any other gadget and sit still for a minute. Find that tiny seed of faith and hold on.

These troubling moments are a part of life. We temporarily forget that it gets better again, so stick to the simple solutions. Don’t try to figure it all out.

Sending you love and peace on this day of New Beginnings and Hope.

Christina

Anxiety and Grace

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Most of my life I have had serious anxiety that is most active at night. It seems to have gotten worse over the years, to the point of me feeling almost helpless, as if some other entity is in charge, causing panic-like fear. That is after all what anxiety is, a great fear of things turning out badly.

So many women I know seem to harbor this fear of becoming homeless. That is an example of a serious anxiety. Then there is fear of never having a good relationship, enough money, living a more fulfilling life……on and on. If you haven’t experienced the positive side of these things, then it is difficult to believe you can have them, that life can be better. There is nothing in your history to compare to, nothing to connect to in order to create the feelings of having that good thing.

That is how the anxiety grows and becomes larger than you. Many of us can suppress it or mask it during the day with activity and logic. It’s at night, when it is quiet and logic has left the room, that it grows into a massive monster that torments you for hours.

Taking sleeping pills or general anxiety medication didn’t appeal to me, so I turned to working on my thoughts. I noticed that I didn’t want to think about it too much during the day…..because it is so painful…..so I was left to address it at night when it felt overwhelming. What a monumental task! Kind of like climbing a rock-wall that is leaning forward, it seemed impossible.

I do pray. I know prayer, meditation, visualization and faith work! I prayed for relief, for help with positive thoughts, I demanded to be heard, I cried to be shown love, to accept feeling loved….the kind of love that makes you gentle, understanding and peaceful. I stated that I no longer wanted to accept this horror show, that I expected to be acknowledged and guided. I visualized good, loving outcomes…….

……until one night, it worked!! An other-worldly peace descended upon me, literally! The monster had left. A deep knowing, a trust had taken it’s place. The energy in the room became gentle and good; my heart was filled with love. It was nothing less than GRACE.

 

Healing Stress, Anxiety and Limiting Beliefs

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Lately it seems that everyone is struggling either with emotional or physical issues. One of the things I utilize when working with clients is a process called EFT, which was developed by physicians.

EFT, otherwise known as Emotional Freedom Techniques, is a type of Meridian Tapping that combines ancient Chinese acupressure and modern psychology with astonishing results.

The EFT Tapping Therapy process is surprisingly simple: you just focus on something that is bothering you while tapping with your fingertips on 10 easily learned acupuncture points. You will discover that the painful feelings simply drain away and negative beliefs lose their power.

EFT can bring you relief from pain, childhood traumas, emotional scars, anxiety, fears and phobias. It can clear limiting financial beliefs, help with weight loss, body image and food cravings. Tapping is a powerful, well-researched and simple technique that is easy to learn and apply.

The scientific explanation for this is, that when you have any of those issues, a neuro-circuit in your body is being activated, which brings up your old, buried emotions. You will not react to anything that isn’t already within you. I know we don’t always want to hear that, but it’s true. If you don’t recognize it, you won’t respond to it.

Your body is more powerful than you can imagine!! It is filled with life, energy, and an amazing ability to heal itself. With Tapping you literally tap into that power.

Tapping utilizes your body’s energy meridian points by stimulating them with your fingertips – they actually tap into your body’s own energy and healing power.

When we have unresolved emotional problems, whether conscious or unconscious, they manifest themselves into physical symptoms. And physical challenges tend to cause further emotional turmoil, it’s a Catch 22.
Human beings have an intricate energy system that flows throughout the body that controls our physical and emotional health. All negative emotions we feel cause a disruption in our body’s energy flow. The way that we typically experience this is as stress, anxiety, and overwhelm, which ultimately manifests as actual physical pain and disease.

Therefore we cannot treat the symptoms without addressing the cause. We have to address those issues as a whole; look at the emotional causes to heal the physical.

The body, like everything in the universe, is composed of energy. Restore balance to the body’s energy, and you will mend the negative emotions and physical symptoms that stem from the energy disruption. Tapping restores the body’s energy balance, and the negative emotions are being addressed.

To learn more, contact www.christinadevalencia.com or go to www.thetappingsolution.com

Failure = Success.

I think this is worth retelling:

Why would I make such a statement?  Because it’s true!

The truth is, actually, that there is no failure, remember?  But for the sake of this conversation, we’ll use the word.

So failure is doing something and not having it work out, or turn out, as you expected.  It can be going for a job interview and not getting it, starting to clean out the garage and not finishing it, beginning a relationship and having it end, maybe before it even really got started at all.

Your ability to allow yourself to fail absolutely defines and creates your ability to succeed.  Here’s why…

When you lose the fear of failing and determine that you will stay focused on what you want, no matter what (possibly failing multiple times), you continue to move forward.  With each ‘failure’ you gather further information; maybe an employer or a certain job takes a certification or some other training.  Now you can take the new information and choose to either get what is needed, or choose to go in a different direction.  Either way, you are choosing a solution, and moving forward!  Maybe you determine that cleaning out the garage needs to be done in sections, allowing yourself more than one day, you create a ‘schedule’ to get it done; you create a better solution with the information that the ‘failure’ has given you.  You will begin to align yourself to what you want.  And this can be applied to many areas of your life.

Now I could say it’s the law of averages, meaning that the more attempts you make at something the better the odds of you attaining what you want, and that does play a part, but it’s the energy behind that statement that allows it to work.

This is why:  As you continue to gather further information with each attempt, you are honing your ‘asking’; you are further defining what it is that you want.  Maybe you thought you wanted a certain type of person in a relationship, or you wanted a certain type of job, only to find that you are changing your parameters after collecting more information; you don’t want what you thought you did!  This new information is allowing you to begin to line up with what you do want.

The more you are willing to fail, the more information you are collecting; the more you are defining, and re-defining, what you want.  Imagine, if you are less willing to risk the fear of failing, then you will move more slowly toward your goal; possibly you won’t move at all!  Staying stuck and letting fear ‘drive your bus’, ruining all of your fun, is simply not an option!  Re-write your thoughts about what you think you are ‘failing’ at.  If you went on a job interview and didn’t get the job, you have a choice in how to think about it.  You can think, ‘I don’t like those people’ spinning negativity throughout your day and reality and job search, or you can say, ‘Oh well, that didn’t feel good and it wasn’t for me, and I know because everything that is meant for me comes with ease’.  That provides a release of all negative energy, and now you are ready to face many interviews, collect more and more information, until you create the perfect opportunity.  This does take listening to yourself, both to see what thoughts are creating a negative vibe and to figure out a solution; to figure out a new direction or new goal.

So, Failure is the gateway to Success.  Get on the bike, know that you may fall off in order to learn how to ride it!

As written by Vicki Murphy, BFA, RMPT, IEP

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