Being Busy Does NOT Mean You’re Doing Something Meaningful
We all have times when we are truly busy. When we’re overwhelmed with tasks that need to be addressed, but most of the time we do not have a legitimate reason to be busy all the time.
Maybe we keep busy to distract ourselves from issues we can’t or don’t want to address in the moment. Or ever.
Maybe we don’t know how to prioritize our days or set boundaries.
Maybe it helps us to avoid dealing with people.
Maybe we are stuck in a situation that seems unbearable and staying busy is the only way to get through.
More often our busyness does not accomplish anything meaningful.
It only gives us an elevated sense of importance. It creates the illusion that what we are doing matters.
If you’re repeatedly being told by someone that they are busy, it can be hurtful. I used to reach out to my sister to have coffee, just to have some uninterrupted time for the two of us. We are both immigrants to this country, we have left our family and home. We are the only ones on this continent. We love each other. But her response is always “I’m so busy”. I know my sister and know there are a lot of nuances to her busyness. Over time I just backed off and our relationship stagnated. We do see each other now and then in group settings, but the intimate connection is gone.
Relationships sometimes disappear altogether when no effort is made. Good friendships fall by the wayside. Family members no longer see each other. It isn’t because people don’t care for each other. We just don’t think about the importance of reaching out. We are keeping busy.
We don’t see the big picture.
We don’t realize the importance of connection.
Sometimes I feel full of energy, washing dishes, cleaning the house, doing the laundry when I should be handling something more important or going for a walk with a friend. I feel like I am accomplishing a lot, when in fact I am just spinning my wheels. Of course, keeping my house clean and livable matters, but definitely not nearly as much as that human connection.
Our phones hold us hostage. When the phones were on a leash, we were free. Now they’re free and we are on a leash. We scroll, post on social media, text and scroll some more. We have lost our ability to just be with another person. To notice them next to us. To just feel whatever there is to feel.
All the while, anxiety and loneliness in our country is increasing. Depression is on the rise.
Watch when you sit in a waiting room at the doctor’s office or anywhere you have to wait. At the airport, standing in line somewhere. Literally everyone is looking down at their phones. It’s impossible to make eye contact.
Life is short! Haven’t we all heard that before? Well, it’s true!!
The older I get, the more aware I become of the fleeting time on this planet. The joys that are available to me when I connect with others. The deep satisfaction of a meaningful conversation. The good feeling of a chat with a neighbor or in the grocery store. The story someone is telling me about their life. Sharing a good meal with a friend.
Little kids notice everything. They’re curious. Once you hand them that electronic device, they’ll lose that. Little by little, their playfulness disappears, and they’ll proclaim boredom if they don’t have access.
We all are only given a finite amount of time. Make it matter. Build the relationship. In the end, and I don’t mean at the end, all we have is each other. All that matters are the people in our lives. Have that cup of coffee with someone, that glass of wine, listen to their story, happy or sad. Reach out. That’s what will make us all feel better, excited and fulfilled.
Even if you are an introvert.
We humans are not loners, by nature, like the tiger or the bear. We need each other for love, inspiration, encouragement, companionship, hope and to feel that we matter.
Let’s be a little less busy. Let’s put that phone down.
Let’s reach out.
Let’s make time for each other.
