Being Busy Does NOT Mean You’re Doing Something Meaningful
We all experience moments of genuine busyness—times when we’re overwhelmed with tasks that demand our attention. But more often than not, our constant busyness isn’t justified. It’s not always about having too much to do; sometimes, it’s about what we’re avoiding.
Maybe we stay busy to distract ourselves from issues we don’t want to face—or don’t know how to face.
Maybe we struggle to prioritize our time or set healthy boundaries.
Maybe we use busyness as a shield to avoid difficult conversations or interactions.
Or maybe we’re stuck in a situation that feels unbearable, and staying busy is the only way to cope.
The truth is much of our busyness doesn’t lead to anything meaningful. Instead, it gives us a false sense of importance, creating the illusion that what we’re doing truly matters.
When someone repeatedly tells you they’re “too busy”, it can be deeply hurtful. I used to reach out to my sister to have coffee, just to have some uninterrupted time for the two of us. We are both immigrants to this country, we have left our family and home. We are the only ones on this continent. We love each other. But her response is always “I’m so busy”. I know her well enough to understand the complexities behind her busyness, but over time, I stopped reaching out. Our relationship stagnated. We still see each other occasionally in group settings, but the closeness we once shared is gone.
Relationships sometimes disappear altogether when no effort is made. Good friendships fall by the wayside. Family members no longer see each other. It isn’t because people don’t care for each other. We just don’t think about the importance of reaching out. We are keeping busy.
We don’t see the big picture.
We don’t realize the importance of connection.
Sometimes I feel full of energy, washing dishes, cleaning the house, doing the laundry when I should be handling something more important or going for a walk with a friend. I feel like I am accomplishing a lot, when in fact I am just spinning my wheels. Of course, keeping my house clean and livable matters, but definitely not nearly as much as that human connection.
Our phones hold us hostage. When the phones were on a leash, we were free. Now they’re free and we are on a leash. We scroll, post on social media, text and scroll some more. We have lost our ability to just be with another person. To notice them next to us. To just feel whatever there is to feel.
All the while, anxiety and loneliness in our country is increasing. Depression is on the rise.
Watch when you sit in a waiting room at the doctor’s office or anywhere you have to wait. At the airport, standing in line somewhere. Literally everyone is looking down at their phones. It’s impossible to make eye contact.
Life is short—we’ve all heard it before, but it’s true. As I get older, I’m more aware of how fleeting our time is. I’ve come to appreciate the joy that comes from connecting with others: the depth of a meaningful conversation, the warmth of chatting with a neighbor, the stories people share about their lives, the pleasure of sharing a meal with a friend.
Children notice everything. They’re naturally curious. But hand them a device, and that curiosity fades. Slowly, their playfulness disappears, replaced by complaints of boredom when the screen is taken away.
We all are given a finite amount of time. Make it matter. Build the relationship. In the end, and I don’t mean at the end, all we have is each other. All that matters are the people in our lives. Have that cup of coffee with someone, that glass of wine, listen to their story, happy or sad. Reach out. That’s what will make us all feel better, excited and fulfilled.
Even if you are an introvert.
Humans aren’t solitary creatures by nature, like tigers or bears. We need each other—for love, inspiration, encouragement, companionship, and hope. We need to feel like we matter.
So let’s be a little less busy. Let’s put our phones down.
Let’s reach out.
Let’s make time for each other.
